An Unearthly Child [Episode 1]
And so it begins.
I play the DVD and Hannah sees the original title sequence for the first time, complete with abstract swirly effects.
Hannah: Are those iron filings?
Me: No, it's called a howlaround effect. Essentially it's visual feedback from pointing a camera at a monitor showing its own picture.
The episode begins. 10 seconds in, the title music is still playing.
Hannah: It's weird how long the theme tune carries on into the beginning of the episode.
Me: Really? I don't think it goes on particularly long.
40 seconds later...
Me: To be fair, I don't think it usually goes on this long.
Meanwhile, at Coal Hill School, teachers Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright are baffled by the mysteries surrounding one of their students, and decide to follow her home.
Hannah: Spying on children. Sounds like an excellent idea. So they're out in the fog at night, searching the streets for a young girl?
Me: They were different times. (pause) Although admittedly they were also the times of the Moor murders. Actually I believe one took place on this very night.
Hannah: Hmmm.
After a few flashbacks ("Nice camerawork") and an impressive prediction of the 1971 decimalisation of UK currency ("That's creepy"), Ian and Barbara enter the junkyard and begin looking for Susan. Hannah isn't too keen on the junkyard set, finding it rather too small for the actors to search convincingly.
Hannah: Where could she be? Is she behind this typewriter?
Eventually they discover an old police telephone box in the corner, which is giving off a faint vibration. Ian decides it must be alive.
Hannah: (sarcastically) Yes, I'd jump to that conclusion as well. I'd probably just assume there was a washing machine running inside it.
Me: Oh yes, that's much more plausible.
When Hannah finally meets the original Doctor, she finds it hard to reconcile this argumentative, cantankerous old man with the character she already knows. She notices in passing that Susan claims to have invented the acronym "TARDIS" ("Does that mean they weren't all called the same thing?"), but soon has more important things to concern herself with.
Hannah: I can't imagine the Doctor would actually trap people.
He doesn't stop there, either. After deliberately rigging the console with electricity to stop Ian's attempt to escape, the TARDIS dematerialises with all four of them on board. Hannah is a little shocked that the Doctor is capable of kidnapping people.
Hannah: He's certainly not the same person. But I know that's the whole point.
Me: He's not really the main character at the moment, it's more of an ensemble. Ian is the closest thing we've got to a leading man, and the Doctor is the cantankerous old scientist who gets them into trouble. He's certainly not the protagonist yet.
Hannah: Hence the electrocution.
Me: But he will become more like the character you expect.
Hannah: (tentatively) How long...?
Me: It's called character development, you'll just have to ride it out. Half the fun is seeing him get there.
Hannah: Meh. So far he's just a crotchety old man who argues with people.
The episode concludes as the TARDIS materialises onto a desolate wasteland, where the shadow of a tall, scruffy figure looms over it.
Me: Imagine seeing that episode for the first time in 1963 and not knowing what to expect at all.
Hannah: I suppose that's what makes it difficult; we already know who and what he is.
Me: It's impossible to see it now as contemporary audiences would have seen it. But imagine you had no idea about the concept of the TARDIS or anything and you were watching this programme, following the mystery of this schoolgirl, and then found out the big plot twist...
Hannah: It's hard because there's so much sci-fi these days. If I knew it was a sci-fi show but didn't know the premise, I could still guess that she's either an alien or a time traveller, or she's in a cult.
Me: In a cult?
Hannah's initial reaction is that she has difficulty adjusting to the acting style and received pronunciation of the time (back when television was still largely influenced by its theatrical roots), and that the exchange of dialogue doesn't feel natural enough. (I must remember to show her more Robert Altman films.) But she accepts that this is the style of the time, and agrees that she will probably get used to it.
Me: Do you want the next one yet?
Hannah: Yeah, that felt far too short. I wasn't expecting it to be finished yet.
The Cave of Skulls [Episode 2]
Before we start the second episode, I decide to throw in some trivia.
Me: By the way, William Russell's son appears in seven of the eight Harry Potter films.
Hannah: Who's his son?
Me: Alfie Enoch.
Hannah: Who does he play?
Me: A character called Dean Thomas.
Hannah: Ah, yes. He's barely important.
Me: Anyway, Ian's his dad.
Hannah has a degree in archaeology, so I'm interested to see how long it takes her to work out where the TARDIS has landed.
Me: So where do you think the story is going now, out of interest--
Hannah: Cavemen.
Me: Is it that obvious?
Hannah: No, I saw the stills on the episode selection menu.
I knew I should have asked her to leave the room.
Hannah: Also, the archaeologist in me is probably going to scream a bit every now and then. Right now I'm watching a man rub a bone between his hands. If he's trying to start fire by rubbing a bone, this is all going to go horribly wrong.
As it turns out, the reason for the caveman's poor technique is that his tribe has lost the secret of fire-making, and Hannah is relieved that there's a justification for him "doing it shit." The tribe's animal skin costumes don't go unnoticed, either.
Hannah: There's a lot of thigh.
Meanwhile, the time travellers are preparing to leave the TARDIS.
Hannah: So why are there roundels on the outside of the door? Why isn't it the police box on the outside of the door?
The Doctor, too, is concerned with the TARDIS exterior; he's very disturbed that the ship seems to have stuck in the shape of the police box after their recent journey, rather than changing to blend in with its surroundings.
Hannah: I like how the TARDIS is always broken. The "year-ometer" is broken, the chameleon circuit is broken... why was it looking like a police box when it was in a junkyard, anyway?
She's also visibly pleased at the first utterance of the phrase "Doctor who?". And speaking of the Doctor's equipment...
Hannah: That's a big pipe.
Me: Yes, it's the only time in the series you ever see him smoking.
Hannah is very dismissive of Susan's panic attack ("she's very annoying") and the Doctor's trousers ("he looks like Rupert Bear"), but becomes far more interested when he's confronted with a tribe of cavemen. This is the first time she sees something she recognises as "the Doctor" (i.e. the man who can talk his way out of any situation). It's also the first time she sees something she recognises as archaeology.
Hannah: A hand axe! You get a piece of flint and it's so perfectly shaped you hold it in your hand, and it has a sharp cutting edge. A lot of skill goes into making one.
Me: Have you ever made one?
Hannah: No, I don't have the skill. I tried.
And, moments later, in the Cave of Skulls...
Hannah: Oh hello, fully-articulated skeleton! That's not possible. It should have fallen apart if there's no flesh on it.
After the episode ends, Hannah's reaction is somewhat... unique.
Hannah: This one was much better than the last one.
I can't let that pass.
Me: Really?!
Hannah: It's got cavemen. I like cavemen.
The Forest of Fear [Episode 3]
I prepare the DVD and wait until I have Hannah's undivided attention.
Me: Okay, ready?
Hannah: Yes.
I start the episode. Less than two seconds later...
Hannah: (on her phone) Look, there's a guy advertising to be paid to cry at funerals as a professional mourner.
As before, the hand axe gets the seal of approval.
Hannah: There's a very good cutting edge on that.
The Doctor recommends they cut Ian free first, because he's the strongest of the four of them.
Hannah: I find it hard to think of the Doctor as a feeble old man.
Somehow this activates Hannah's iPhone.
Hannah: No, Siri. Fuck off.
Siri: Whoa, Hannah. That seems uncalled for.
Hannah: How did that happen? I didn't say "Hey Siri."
Me: Some random word must have set him off. Like when we were watching The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and he woke up when Elizabeth Banks said "history" near the beginning.
Finally, it's time for the moment I've been waiting for since we started this story. Hannah bears witness to one of the most controversial moments of the early episodes, as the Doctor picks up a stone and prepares to kill a wounded caveman in order to aid their escape.
Hannah: (slightly taken aback) He wasn't really going to do that, was he? Kill a random defenceless man on the floor?
The episode ends.
Hannah: Hmm.
Me: Yes?
Hannah: I'm making non-committal noises about how engaging this is. It's not the most exciting of stories, but it is interesting. It's leaving me with more questions than answers.
Me: Such as?
Hannah: Why is the Doctor a dick?
The Firemaker [Episode 4]
Other than an occasional comment on the production style (the fire effect on Ian's torch elicits an "ooh" but the "running on the spot" acting gets a less enthusiastic response), Hannah watches with interest and doesn't pass much comment until the time travellers make their escape, pursued by a group of cavemen running into the forest with burning torches.
Hannah: They're all too stupid to use fire.
She soon perks up when the Doctor and company finally pile back on board the ship and Ian frantically urges the Doctor to dematerialise, although the line "Come on Doctor, get us off" elicits one of the dirtiest giggles I've heard from her in many a long day. As they finally take off, she takes a moment to reflect on the plight of the cavemen...
Hannah: They didn't set fire to the whole forest. I'm disappointed.
Me: Why?
Hannah: It would have taught them a valuable lesson. So we never see the creature? I suppose if they'd shown a big scary creature and spent all that money, they'd want to use it again instead of just being a one-off.
Me: To be honest, I don't know if it would have looked that expensive.
The Score
Me: So what do you think?
Hannah: I liked it. Obviously the first episode's completely different. The cavemen story is good but I don't feel like there was enough to draw it out over three episodes; it could easily have all happened in one and a half. But it meant that you could identify with the characters and get to know a bit of backstory.
Me: It wasn't originally going to be about cavemen. The first scheduled story was going to have them shrinking.
Hannah: That's just silly. Why shrinking?
Me: Why not? It worked for Fantastic Voyage.
Hannah: Anyway, we don't even know that they're in prehistoric times; it's never stated that this is Earth. There could be cavemen on any planet. Besides, neanderthals already had fire before there were humans.
Me: Do you like the idea that he now has companions who are there against their will?
Hannah: Yeah, I think it's very different and it's an interesting way of seeing the Doctor. It's a very different dynamic to what I'm used to seeing. He's not a hero, he's just trying to protect himself.
Hannah decides that, if she were to give the first episode a separate score, it would probably be an 8 or a 9, but...
Hannah: It's strung out too much, and very little happens over the following three episodes. If they'd condensed it down or had some other stuff happening, I'd have given it a higher rating. I didn't like it a huge amount.
6/10
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