Episode 1
Me: Okay, this is the other previously-missing story that was recovered at the same time as The Enemy of the World; until 2013 we only had the first episode but now it's almost complete, except for episode 3.
Hannah: It's called The Web of Fear. Like The Web Planet.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a sequel.
This episode picks up where the last one left off, with the TARDIS crew clinging desperately onto the console to avoid being sucked out of the doors. The Doctor struggles to regain control of the ship but, as Hannah predicted last time, the cliffhanger is resolved in short order and we segue to a creepy museum.
Hannah: Ah, it's a fuzzy thing and a man in a hat.
The old man's daughter identifies the fuzzy exhibit as a Yeti robot, and helpfully reminds us that it can't be re-activated without a control unit.
Hannah: Why do they all know these things? It's just weird.
Me: Because he was there!
Hannah: Was he? I don't recognise him.
Me: It's Professor Travers, the Englishman from the Tibetan monastery in The Abominable Snowmen.
Hannah: I don't recognise him.
Me: No, well, he's about thirty years older now.
Hannah: Oh. Was that supposed to be obvious?
Me: He literally just told us that he brought that Yeti back from Tibet thirty years ago.
Hannah: I just thought he'd gone over there, found something and brought it back; I was wondering how they could possibly know all these things.
Me: No, it's Deborah Watling's father again, but he's made up to look like an old man this time.
Hannah: Not sure he looks old enough.
Hannah is surprised to see the Yeti again so soon, a mere two stories after their last appearance.
Hannah: I thought it was over and done.
Me: It's worth keeping an eye on these Yeti, actually; one of the actors will become a semi-regular character later in the show.
Hannah: Okay. When he turns up again, I'll do my best to recognise someone whose face I've never seen.
After getting snared in some intergalactic cobweb, the TARDIS eventually arrives at its next destination.
Hannah: Why does the TARDIS always land on a planet with a breathable atmosphere?
Me: I imagine they probably land on other planets but they move on straight away without sticking around, and the BBC never bothers to televise it because it would be so boring and pointless.
Hannah: Fair enough. I like that they were standing around eating sandwiches, anyway. Didn't they have processed cube meals or something in the first series?
Me: Something like that, yes.
Hannah: But they can actually have proper sandwiches with sliced bread?
Me: I don't know. Maybe they stopped off at Subway on the way.
Hannah: Subway doesn't do sliced bread.
Speaking of subways, the TARDIS has landed in the London Underground. It hasn't escaped the Doctor's notice that they keep landing on Earth.
Hannah: Oh, he's addressing it, is he? They do seem to be landing there a lot.
Hannah is instantly struck by how good the Covent Garden tube station is looking.
Hannah: Did they film it in the actual London Underground, or have they built a set?
Me: They did ask for permission to film there, but London Transport said no.
Hannah: So they did it anyway?
Me: No, they built such a realistic set that London Transport sent the BBC a letter of complaint, claiming that filming had been done on their property without permission.
Hannah: (laughing) I like that. The set designer should have been given an award for that. Give them an extra £50 this week for being so good at their job.
Then she opens up a can of worms.
Hannah: So what era is this?
Me: Oh, god...
Hannah: Because you said Tibet was the thirties...
Me: It's about modern day, give or take, but... well, it's complicated. There's a huge fandom controversy about the dating of all the "present-day" stories from the seventies, and this is where it all starts; they're often assumed to be a short distance into the future, but nobody can agree on how far and it affects the dates of some other stories - like this one - that take place earlier on. It's really not worth getting into it here, unless you enjoy that sort of thing. Basically this adventure is set anywhere between 1968 and 1975, depending on who you ask.
Hannah: Well, it's obviously not much later than that; look at those newspaper headlines. "Londoners Flee! Menace Spreads". They don't write them like that anymore. It's all "Slag on Benefits Marries an Immigrant" these days.
Central London has been shut down and abandoned, and the deserted London Underground network has been infested with Yeti and cosmic webbing. Hannah seems impressed that the Doctor happens to have a mini-meter in his pocket for measuring electrical current (just wait until she sees Tom Baker's inventory); not to be outdone, the Yeti are also showing off a new bit of kit.
Hannah: Oh, they have cobweb guns!
The episode ends with a pile of webbed-up explosives being detonated right next to the Doctor.
Hannah: Oh, so it's a cobweb that can hold back the explosive force of dynamite, or C-4, or whatever it was.
Me: The web wouldn't be much of a threat unless it was that strong. And it did manage to hold the TARDIS.
Hannah: Yes, but... eurgh, what's that?
The credits for each episode of this story are shown over an electronically-distorted film of cells dividing.
Hannah: It looks like bacteria. I like that, it's a weird little touch. Apparently, saying "Eurgh, what's that?" is indicative of something I enjoyed.
Episode 2
Hannah is already full of praise for this story.
Hannah: I'm worried that as time goes on, and they get more money and technology, I'm going to have to start giving every story 10 out of 10.
Me: I don't think you need to worry about that.
Hannah: There's a lot of depth in these camera shots. Not just people moving sideways, but they've got people at the front and people at the back. The direction is really good; lots of cutting between things, which they didn't used to do so often. It helps build the drama. Who directed this?
Me: It's Douglas Camfield again.
Hannah: Excellent.
Jamie and Victoria are reunited with Professor Travers.
Hannah: Is this the first time they ever meet someone again?
Me: Yep. It's been thirty years for him, but for them it's only been a few days.
They've been escorted to an army base at Goodge Street where Travers, his scientist daughter Anne and a group of soldiers are trying to find a solution to the Yeti infestation. Not that the army boys are having much luck with their firearms.
Hannah: Have they not developed an EMP yet?
Me: You said the Yeti were too cute and cuddly last time. What do you think of their makeover?
Hannah: I didn't notice there had been one.
Me: The production team also thought that they looked too cute, so they've been re-designed to look scarier. Now they're slimmer, they've got big claws, they roar, and they've got glowing red eyes.
Hannah: Okay, yeah, I can see that they're slimmer, which definitely helps. It makes them less cute, definitely. Although those marks on their chest makes it look like they're wearing suspenders or dungarees.
Me: How do you think they made the roaring noise?
Hannah: Is it just a person?
Me: No.
Hannah: Is it an animal?
Me: No.
Hannah: (wearily) Is it someone farting through a tube?
Me: You're getting warmer.
Hannah: Fart in a washing machine?
Me: It's the slowed-down sound of a flushing toilet.
Hannah: (laughing) Really? Okay. Sound-effects artists are awesome.
While Victoria and Anne have a cosy chat ("Is it weird for Deborah Watling to play against someone who's playing her dad's daughter?"), a conflict in the tunnel comes to an abrupt end when the Yeti turn and leave.
Hannah: Has the Doctor gone and got his own little toys, and now he's remote-controlling them away? He hasn't turned up yet, so if it's not the Doctor that's done it, he's definitely on holiday.
Travers and Anne are called away from the laboratory ("They've left the soldering iron on!") when a strange fungus starts engulfing Euston Square.
Hannah: It doesn't really look like fungus. It looks more like bubble bath.
Victoria slips away into the tunnels to look for the Doctor.
Hannah: Is Victoria going to die?
Me: Yes, that's why the Victoria Line is dedicated to her memory.
Hannah: I don't believe you. Not since you tried to convince me that Jamie was dead in The Ice Warriors.
Me: Well, the Victoria Line opened a few months after this. It can't be a coincidence, can it?
Hannah: Of course it can.
The return of the Yeti can mean only one thing: the Great Intelligence is back.
Hannah: How did Travers re-activating that one Yeti lead to so many more operational Yeti turning up, plus all the fungus?
Me: Maybe the Intelligence had them shipped over from Tibet?
Hannah: Why does the Intelligence want to fill the London Underground with foam? It just seems like it's turned up and thrown some Yeti underground and now they're filling up the Northern Line with some bubble bath for no reason.
Episode 3
It's time for a missing episode; please mind the gap.
Me: This telesnap reconstruction was actually produced by the BBC and released on DVD, so hopefully you'll find it slightly smoother than the fan-made ones we usually watch.
Hannah: Is it full of fondue and jazz?
Me: Not that smooth, it's just been cleaned up a lot more than usual. It's still a bloody slideshow.
Victoria finds the Doctor wandering around in the tunnels, accompanied by an army colonel.
Hannah: Who's that?
Me: He hasn't been in it yet, he's only just turned up.
Hannah: Maybe the Colonel is the earthly conduit for the Intelligence.
The newcomer introduces himself as Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart; Hannah recognises the name and, out of some vague awareness of how important he's going to be in the future, lets out a small cheer of recognition.
Hannah: Well, their old commanding officer was a bit shit. Finally someone with a bit of authority has turned up, so maybe things will start going better now.
A briefing in the Goodge Street common room reveals that a strange mist over Hyde Park has been covering the entire above-ground area within the Circle Line.
Hannah: Why is it on the Circle Line? Why hasn't the invasion been in the Houses of Parliament, or an airport or something? Why is the London Underground full of fungus and Yeti and some strange mist? It's still not making any sense.
With Jamie roaming around in the tunnels, Anne tries to reassure Victoria.
Hannah: I don't know if I like her.
Me: Why not?
Hannah: I don't know. She seems very nice.
Me: Yeah, it's so unnecessary.
Hannah: I don't trust nice people who smile a lot when everyone's in danger.
The cliffhanger involves Travers being menaced by a Yeti, which (somehow or other) has been hiding behind a door. With a traitor at large in the base, Hannah starts considering the possible suspects.
Hannah: I thought someone searched the place and said there was no Yeti; that means the person who did the searching was in on it too. Chorley's bad, but I think he's just self-interested and wants to get out, so I think the person who searched the entire base for Yeti and didn't find any, and then let one stay around to kill someone, is most likely to be the one who's doing the naughty.
Episode 4
The Colonel's party plots a route to Holburn via Tottenham Court Road, down to Leicester Square, and up past Covent Garden.
Hannah: I've forgotten why they're doing this.
Me: I think they're playing Mornington Crescent.
Now that we're back in the realm of moving footage, Hannah finally gets to see the Colonel in action.
Me: Does the Colonel seem familiar to you?
Hannah: You told me he was someone else, but I can't remember who.
Me: Nicholas Courtney also played Bret Vyon in The Daleks' Master Plan.
Hannah: Is he the one that was killed by his sister?
Me: Yes.
Hannah: He doesn't look familiar at all.
Me: Probably that military moustache he's sporting now.
Someone is being possessed by the Intelligence, and with the raging paranoia in full-swing, everyone has been written to appear as suspicious as possible.
Hannah: I see what you mean about building tensions and distrust of each other; things keep happening while other people are gone. I don't know who the traitor is anymore; it could be literally any of them.
The Colonel and his men are mounting an expedition to Covent Garden in an effort retrieve the TARDIS.
Hannah: I like him, because he's not letting emotion get in the way of things; he's very calm and calculating. It doesn't matter whether he believes it or not; if there's a possibility that it can save lives, he's going to look into it, even if he thinks the Doctor is completely delusional and the transport just turns out to be a wagon. He's a very calm character, although you're probably supposed to assume that he wants it for his own agenda.
Me: Did you say wagon?
To my surprise, Hannah recognises the music during the battle at Covent Garden Market.
Hannah: Oh, it's the same music! It's the Yeti music!
Me: It's the Cyberman music.
Hannah: Is it?
Me: Well, technically it's stock music, but it's the same stock music they've been using for all the Cyberman stories so far, and for some reason they've also decided to use it for the Yeti in this episode. Actually I think this is the last time it ever gets used on Doctor Who, because all the other Cyberman stories have their own composer.
Hannah: Oh yeah, there was no music in the other Yeti story, was there? It feels silly, using it for this.
Me: It's a piece called "Space Adventure".
Hannah: Well, they're not in space.
The Intelligence has temporarily possessed Professor Travers so that it can give the Doctor an ultimatum.
Hannah: Lots of twists and turns in this story. Maybe it's too bendy, I don't know; you think you've got a hold on the small amount you can know, and then the plot goes somewhere else. And I still have absolutely no idea why the Intelligence has invaded the Circle Line using cobwebs and fungus. It's completely bizarre, and it's taking far too long to make any kind of sense.
Episode 5
The Intelligence has created a machine that will drain all knowledge and experience from the Doctor's mind. (I believe our local supermarket uses something similar for their staff training exercises.)
Hannah: What's wrong with just asking questions? It's just rude. Why not invite him to tea and have a conversation?
The Doctor is given twenty minutes to turn himself over to the Intelligence.
Hannah: What does the Intelligence want? It hasn't said it wants to conquer the universe or anything; it just wants knowledge. The Doctor hasn't even asked what it wants the knowledge for.
Me: It's clearly not up to any good; I think the events in Tibet have set a bit of a precedent.
Hannah: Yes, well, obviously it's evil of some kind. But if it's world domination, it's doing it really slowly and weirdly and stupidly, and if it's a particular resource it wants, it's going a very strange way about getting it.
The Doctor and Anne reprogram one of the control spheres so that the Doctor can control it with his voice.
Hannah: They've made a remote-control ball.
Me: What do you think of Anne? I'd say she's companion material.
Hannah: I don't know if you're saying that as a hint or not, although I don't think you'd be so blatant. She's certainly a lot more handy than some others.
The Doctor uses the reprogrammed sphere in a captured Yeti so that he can command the robot.
Hannah: It's very slow.
Me: Maybe it's a weak signal. When I'm on the London Underground I can't even get a signal for my phone, never mind my Yeti.
Staff Sergeant Arnold, last seen getting engulfed in fungus during the previous episode, has turned up again seemingly unscathed; Hannah finds this highly suspicious, but she doesn't have much time to reflect on it before the fungus starts flooding into the room, disintegrating the wall into pointy shards of masonry.
Hannah: Oh, no. It's splitting the wall like it was made of crisps.
Episode 6
Hannah: Only one episode left, and we still have no idea why the Circle Line is so important to the Intelligence's plans. Surely there were easier ways to get the Doctor into the same position.
The Doctor and Anne lead their converted Yeti along the tunnel to Piccadilly.
Hannah: So they've got their pet Yeti. Their Peti.
Me: Yes, very good.
Hannah's suspicion falls on the sleazy journalist Chorley, who has suddenly turned up again after going missing in the tunnels three episodes ago.
Hannah: He's the only one unaccounted for. Walking around all this time and not being captured, when trained soldiers have been captured... yeah, not suspicious at all.
At Piccadilly, the Doctor takes a moment to assure his colleagues that everything is under control before agreeing to co-operate with the Intelligence.
Hannah: The Intelligence and the Yeti are letting everybody do whatever they want; they're perfectly fine with everyone having a little chat before they get on with their business. The Yeti don't seem threatening or forceful in the slightest; if they come for you, they growl a bit but they only want you to walk in front of them. And if you stop, they'll stop. It doesn't really seem like they're forcing anyone to do anything; they're just an honour guard rather than any kind of force.
Me: They're acting as a physical presence for the Intelligence.
Hannah: They're letting people run away left, right and centre! I know they've improved the design to look more intimidating, but they've just made a slightly more intimidating piece of candy floss; it's still candy floss, and it's not really that scary. The claws look good, but we don't actually see anyone getting slashed in half.
Me: Really? You want to see the Yeti go into Wolverine mode and mutilate someone?
Hannah: Well, yeah, that's the problem; it's an early-evening show so you can't have blood and gore, even though you can see people get shot or Dalek ray-gunned to death. The Yeti don't actually kill anyone on-screen. You don't see them break someone's neck, or hit anyone so hard that they fall down and don't get up; they probably can't actually hit anyone at all, because the costumes are so unwieldy. But it just means that they're not particularly scary, because they look like these great big puppet things waving their arms around.
Me: So you think they should be going around massacring people?
Hannah: Yes, otherwise they're just big fluffy creatures. The point is, it doesn't look like they're physically capable of doing any of the things that they're supposed to be threatening...
Me: Of course they do, they're huge!
Hannah: They're like Totoro; they're great big fluffy things with claws.
Me: Totoro would be scary if he had glowing red eyes and roared like a toilet. I wouldn't want to be waiting at a bus stop with him.
It turns out that Staff Sergeant Arnold was the traitor all along. Oh, and he died two episodes ago.
Hannah: Now I'm trying to remember if I believed that he was the Intelligence at any point. Obviously coming out of the fungus unharmed was a bit of a giveaway.
Me: Well, not exactly unharmed. He's dead.
Hannah: But was he not the Intelligence before that? Or was he only the Intelligence after he died?
Me: The Intelligence is reanimating his corpse.
Hannah: In which case everyone was being suspicious for no reason, because he wasn't even there for all that time.
The Doctor is hooked up to the brain-draining machine, but Jamie suddenly orders their voice-activated Yeti to turn against the others and smash up the apparatus ("A good old Yeti-on-Yeti fight!"), ruining the Doctor's plan to destroy the Great Intelligence. The Intelligence retreats for the time being, leaving the Doctor angrily speculating that it might come back one day.
Hannah: No shit, Sherlock. It's already come back once.
After some hasty goodbyes, our heroes make their way back along the tunnel to Covent Garden and the TARDIS.
Hannah: So the fungus has gone, then?
Me: Looks like it.
Hannah: Why? How? So they've blown up another pyramid thing, and somehow that destroyed all of the fungus?
Me: Well, presumably it all dissolved when they cut off the Intelligence's contact with Earth.
Hannah: So it wasn't a real fungus, it was just a brain thing. Right.
The Doctor hurries Jamie and Victoria along the tracks, just in case the trains unexpectedly start running again.
Hannah: Oh yeah, they'll suddenly start the trains again. While London's still abandoned.
The Score
Hannah: So, just as I suspected, it didn't explain at any point why the Intelligence wanted to take over the London Underground as a trap for the Doctor. All it wanted was the Doctor's brain, so it decided to pour fungus into the London Underground and chuck some Yeti in there as well. None of that makes any sense; it might as well have used the Royal Albert Hall and filled it up with Skittles.
Me: I'm not sure Skittles were around in 1968.
Hannah: It's all very convoluted. I don't understand why this entire story happened.
Me: Okay, how about this. We see the origins of the Great Intelligence when it reappears - played by Sir Ian McKellen - in the 2012 Christmas special "The Snowmen", which obviously takes place before these earlier appearances. At first, Matt Smith's Doctor doesn't realise who it is, and at one point he shows it a map of the London Underground in 1967 and notes that it's a key strategic weakness.
Hannah: So the Doctor accidentally tells the Intelligence something that it uses against him later?
Me: Yes. Does that satisfy you as an explanation?
Hannah: Not really, no.
Me: What about the atmosphere?
Hannah: It works, because you've got a group of people trapped underground and none of them trust each other, but it's not as good as it could be; the paranoia could have been a lot more terrifying, a lot more nail-biting. The concept of having lots of people trapped underground and not being able to get out; that was convincing, with people trying to abandon ship and not being able to, and having to come back again. Once you realised that Chorley was genuine when he was saying "I've been running around for hours and I have no idea how I've survived and all I want to do is leave," that helps. And Evans constantly wanting to desert, that's convincing; annoying, but convincing. Some people keeping their heads and some people not, that feels true to that kind of situation. But there's just not quite enough of an edge to the whole thing. These new Yeti are a bit better, but they're still not scary, and taking over the Underground just doesn't seem like a big threat. I mean, obviously it's fairly inconvenient if you want to use the trains, and people die if they get in the way, but other than that, it doesn't seem to affect anything else. And the whole thing was resolved by taking the Doctor into a room with delicate equipment, and then they smash the delicate equipment. It just feels very anti-climactic.
8/10
Hannah: It was doing really, really well, but then it started falling apart. It was so good that I was thinking this might be the second perfect score in a row; I was happy the Yeti were back, because they're cute and I like them, and the idea of them meeting someone again for the second time was a really good plot point. And then it just started breaking apart a bit. It had good characters, good acting, good sets, good everything else, but the ending lets it down.
