Hannah: (unmoved) Is it.
Me: If it's any consolation, I don't think you'll hate it as much as the first one.
Hannah: I only thought the first one was boring because we'd already seen the story. (pause) Have we already seen the story for this one?
Me: I'm afraid so. Just as Dr. Who and the Daleks was a remake of the first Dalek story, The Daleks, this is a remake of the second Dalek story, The Dalek Invasion of Earth.
Hannah: It's interesting to see the remakes, because it's coming from a completely different view; it's exactly the same story, but the characters are actually different people. But it feels like a waste of time. It feels like they've been lazy by taking a story and premise that's already been written, making the Doctor human, and then putting some big names in it and make a big money-making film out of it.
Me: Speaking of big names, Peter Cushing is probably the biggest name ever to have played the character. It's between him and Jon Hurt.
Hannah: Exactly; they've made a load of money just by copying it and making it slightly different. I wish they could come up with their own story. But, at the same time, I'm very interested in the fact that it is exactly the same story, because we get to see it from a different point of view. Same thing but different.
Me: And Susan is still about 10 or 11 years old, so obviously she doesn't get married off to some random freedom fighter at the end of this one.
Hannah: Are they going to be back in the middle of a field with Romans charging at them, like at the end of the last film?
Me: No. Otherwise it would be a remake of The Romans.
What we get instead is a pre-credits sequence with policeman Tom Campbell being assaulted by some jewellery thieves and then walking dazedly into the nearest police box.
Me: Do you recognise this actor yet?
Hannah: He looks familiar. (uncertainly) Is it Bernard Cribbins?
Me: Yes. We can watch his episode of Fawlty Towers later if you need to cleanse your palate after this.
Hannah: I recognised someone! And he's a semi-regular in the David Tennant era, so he's been in Doctor Who twice.
Me: If you count this, yes.
Hannah: You keep saying it counts because we're watching it!
Me: It still counts as part of the franchise. Just not as part of the TV continuity.
Once again, the opening credits provide us with the full sixties psychedelic light show.
Hannah: Did Terry Nation get paid for this?
Me: The Daleks are his creation, and they're also re-writing his original TV serial. I wouldn't be surprised if he was paid more than the screenwriter.
Hannah: The background is mesmerising. It looks like loads of different watercolours going down a sink. I like them a lot, they're completely different to the first lot. Still colourful, but a lot more reserved. I would even say beautiful.
Back to business, and it's time to ease Hannah back into the uncomfortably canon-free world of the films. So we have the human scientist Dr. Who, his granddaughter Susan, and their ship Tardis. Oh, and this time he's brought his niece Louise along for the ride.
Hannah: Hmm. He's got another member of the family involved. What year have they picked up Cribbins from?
Me: Present day, I assume. 1966.
Hannah: So can he control his ship, then? If they're planning to get to 2150?
Me: Looks like it.
Hannah: He's very Doctor-y sometimes. Just sometimes. Other times it just seems weird.
Me: That's only because you're not used to it, though.
Hannah: Are you suggesting I should fully accept him and embrace him as a Doctor?
Me: No, but when your mind is so invested in the television continuity, these films are a bit of an acquired taste.
The broad strokes of the plot are played out in more or less the exact same way as we've seen before so Hannah doesn't say much about the story itself, preferring instead to comment on the significant differences. Most obviously, the locations and special effects have benefited from the more cinematic budget, and it shows; one of the most unconvincing effects from the original serial, the Dalek saucer, now looks downright satisfactory.
Hannah: That's cool! That's very swish. I can't even see the strings. Wait, yes, I can.
Me: Only in close-up.
Hannah: Yeah. That's quite a nice design. Did we see them in the original?
Me: Not looking as good as that.
Hannah: They look like saucers. Basic saucers.
The costume budget has increased, too. I'm still trying to make up my mind whether or not that's a good thing.
Hannah: Did the Robomen have uniforms before?
Me: No, they were just men with headsets on. They certainly didn't have this kinky ensemble.
Hannah: They look like Stormtroopers in gimp suits. Did they have those whips in the original?
Me: Nope.
Hannah: So they've got black PVC suits and whips. Everyone must be getting really hot and sweaty in those.
Hannah seems to enjoy playing "spot the difference" with the plot and approves that a lot of extraneous material has been removed in order to cut the running time down from two and half hours to 80 minutes, finding it a lot pacier and more exciting. In fact, the odd grievance aside ("The music's far too chirpy"), she's responding to the sequel much more favourably than its predecessor.
Hannah: I like it better than the last film because it's not using the same two corridors over and over again. This is a lot less confusing.
Me: Yes, I've always thought this film was a lot tighter and better-paced than the first one. It's also a lot more accessible because it's not made solely for kids this time.
Hannah: Well there's a lot more terror, death and enslavement in this one.
Actually, it's a strange compromise; we see an escaped prisoner falling from the third floor of a ruined building and violently landing head-first on a pile of bricks but seconds later he's somehow back on his feet with no harm done, at least until he's unceremoniously exterminated.
Hannah: He's not even bleeding.
Me: I suppose you can't really show serious head trauma or blood in a film like this.
Hannah: That's why it's quite helpful that the Daleks have ray weapons that don't do anything to you.
Me: Oh yes, very family-friendly. They just illuminate your entire skeleton when they kill you.
Hannah: It's creepy, but not gory. Anyway, they don't do that yet.
Me: No, we have to wait until the seventies for that. But yes, it probably explains why their guns are only shooting smoke here.
Hannah: These people are quite lucky, being able to outrun the Daleks and avoid their shooting. What's the range on those guns?
Me: About twelve and a half metres.
Hannah: Is it really?
Me: I have no idea.
Hannah: Oooh, some of the Daleks have twiddle hands! Are they like Mr Potato Heads? They have interchangeable arms for whatever they need to do?
Me: Maybe. I used to have a Terminator 2 action figure like that.
Hannah is clearly annoyed that the occasional slapstick humour from the first film is back on the agenda, but thankfully it's not too obnoxious here; replacing Roy Castle with Bernard Cribbins has gone a long way to tone it down. After an amusing moment when Dr. Who and his friends escape from the Dalek cell, Hannah grudgingly admits that the comedy isn't too bad this time around.
Hannah: Okay, that is funny. And I like how only one of them actually broke out of the cell but they're all going to be robotised anyway.
The black marketeer in this version is played by Philip Madoc, easily one of the most striking and impressive actors ever to appear in Doctor Who. Even Hannah recognises him, a bit.
Me: He's most well-known for playing the German U-boat captain in an episode of Dad's Army, the one who prompts Captain Mainwaring's famous line "Don't tell him, Pike!". He also appears four times in the actual Doctor Who series, so you'll be seeing more of him later.
Hannah: He looks older here. When was that episode of Dad's Army made?
Me: 1973.
Hannah: Well, he looks much older here; I suppose the hat in Dad's Army hides the receding hairline. He is creepy, though. He's very good. You know who he reminds me of?
Me: No. Do you?
Hannah: I can't remember his name. Moriarty from Sherlock.
Me: Really? Andrew Scott?
Hannah: Yes. Same kind of hair, same kind of look on his face.
Me: If you say so.
Susan and her friend Wyler (standing in for Barbara and Jenny from the TV serial) are taken in by two women who will eventually betray them to the Daleks, a plot thread that Hannah remembers as a "very poignant part" of the original story. She gives a little pitying whimper.
Hannah: Oh, they don't seem suspicious or evil at all! It's annoying that I know how the story goes.
Me: Well, maybe this will be different.
Hannah: Unlikely, though, isn't it?
Sure enough, Susan and Wyler try to make their escape in the night, only to find the Daleks standing immediately outside the door like a group of Jehovah's witnesses.
Hannah: They're just waiting patiently at the door, waiting for them to wake up and try to escape.
Me: Daleks are like vampires; they can't come in unless you invite them.
Hannah: Or they can't manage the doorstep.
At the mining operation in Bedfordshire, Dr. Who is planning to deflect the Daleks' bomb on its trajectory to the Earth's core so that the explosion will trigger the polarities of the magnetic poles, causing a massive magnetic surge pinpointed at the mine shaft. Hannah makes another distressed noise.
Me: What?
Hannah: It just sounds like bollocks to me.
Me: This is science!
Hannah: Bollocks science. Talking of bollocks, I take it the Daleks' pet isn't in this?
Me: No, you'll be pleased to hear that the Slyther didn't make the final cut this time.
Hannah: I don't think it even made the script, right?
Me: Not as far as I know.
Hannah: Good choice.
I sometimes forget just how wonderfully nerdy she can be about Doctor Who. She even knows about Dalek units of time measurement.
Hannah: Ah, it says "rels"!
Me: Why are you grinning?
Hannah: Because it's a Dalek thing!
Me: And it originates from this film; it doesn't turn up in the TV series until the David Tennant era, 40 years later.
Hannah: Oh, that's disappointing.
Me: Why?
Hannah: Because it's not canon.
Me: Not at this point, but it's been canonised now.
Hannah: (looking at the dial) So there are 50 rels in a Dalek minute?
Me: Yes, I think officially it's supposed to be about 1.2 seconds, although really it depends on the editing and how much suspense they're going for at the time.
Once the adventure is over, Dr. Who agrees to take Tom back to a few minutes before the robbery took place so that he can catch the criminals in the act.
Hannah: Surely he should see his previous self?
As the credits roll, it's time to tell Hannah the good news.
Me: You'll be pleased to know that there aren't any more of these.
Hannah: (disappointed) Aww.
Me: What do you mean, "aww"? You hated the last film with a passion.
Hannah: I liked this one.
Me: There was an option to make another film based on the third Dalek story, The Chase, but Dalekmania had pretty much passed by the summer of 1966 and this one was much less successful at the box office than the first.
Hannah: That's a shame; this one was much better.
The Score
Me: Do you feel like giving it a score?
Hannah: I liked it better than the first one. It had more clever and funny bits, less slapstick, and obviously it all looks prettier than the original.
Me: Yes, post-apocalyptic war-torn London looks absolutely delightful.
Hannah: But there wasn't as much character development. I don't feel like I know who Louise is, at all.
Me: Nobody does.
Hannah: She seemed completely pointless; I don't remember her saying anything or doing anything. They never explain where she's from, and you don't find out anything about her. Also, it skipped the bit where they went back to the TARDIS.
Me: I don't think a montage of everyone driving back to London from Bedfordshire would have been the most exciting way to end the film.
Hannah: But it was nicely paced; they tightened it up and got rid of a few things that I thought were really bad, like the Slyther. The story was already good so they couldn't ruin it much, and things were explained much more clearly. So it's an improvement over the original in some ways, but obviously not better overall. It was just good, but not great.
7/10
I decide to try the same charm tactic as last time.
Me: Thank you for watching it with me.
Hannah: You're welcome, this time. Even if the science was horrendous.
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