The Myth Makers

Temple of Secrets [Episode 1]

This should be an interesting one. This is my favourite Hartnell adventure (which is no mean feat for a story without any surviving episodes in the BBC archive), but Hannah's feelings were decidedly mixed last time we watched a comedy historical (see The Romans), so let's see how it goes.

We're off to a good start with the setting, which immediately interests her: it's the last days of Troy, ten years after the start of the siege.

Hannah: So I'm guessing Vicki and Steven are going to be captured by the Trojans and taken inside? And then the Doctor's got to try and get inside to rescue them. Oh, there might be a horse involved!
Me: It's a bit of a weird one, this. It's debated whether or not the Trojan War actually happened, but it's usually considered mythology rather than history. So we have another "pure" historical, but one that's not actually set in history.
Hannah: I thought archaeologists had found Troy? Or at least a city that they believed could be Troy.
Me: They've certainly found evidence, and I think a lot of people are now convinced that the city actually existed, but all the stuff about the wooden horse... nobody knows whether it really happened or not, but it's generally believed to be false.
Hannah: Like when Peter Capaldi later meets Robin Hood. I like that this is the only period so far that's not necessarily historically true at all; we don't know if any of it actually happened or existed, but they're treating it as if it did.

She immediately recognises Tutte Lemkow as Cyclops, the one-eyed mute spy.

Hannah: Is that the weird guy with an eyepatch?
Me: Yes.
Hannah: Same eyepatch?
Me: Same actor; he's the same one who wore the eyepatch in Marco Polo. Although it's covering a different eye this time, so you can't say he doesn't have range as an actor.

As we reach the end, Hannah notes the title of the next episode: "Small Prophet, Quick Return".

Hannah: Oh, I see what they did there.
Me: This episode was originally going to be called "Zeus Ex Machina", but they weren't allowed.
Hannah: Hmmm.
Me: I thought you would have appreciated it, considering how much we both love I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.
Hannah: I like puns. Sometimes.

Small Prophet, Quick Return [Episode 2]

Hannah: You say this is a comedy?
Me: Yes, it's a very modern one for the time. Why?
Hannah: It's annoying.

The source of her annoyance in this instance is King Priam's son, Paris.

Hannah: Is Paris the shit child?
Me: Yes, he's the useless cowardly one who started the war.
Hannah: My only knowledge of Troy is from the film Troy.
Me: You mean the absolutely atrocious one starring Brad Pitt?
Hannah: Yeah. I only watched it once.
Me: The one where they give him a female love interest and make Patroclus his cousin, just so that there's absolutely no chance of him looking as ambiguously gay as Achilles does in the Iliad?
Hannah: I only liked it because it had Orlando Bloom.
Me: It was my sister's favourite film when it came out, back when she was a teenager and every new film she saw immediately became her favourite film, regardless of how terrible it was. I don't know how she feels about it now.
Hannah: I would watch it again.
Me: You'd be on your own. I'd rather watch a whole episode of Eldorado than sit through that again.

Vicki is renamed "Cressida" by King Priam shortly before she meets his son, Troilus.

Me: How familiar are you with the Shakespeare play Troilus and Cressida?
Hannah: I've heard of it. Do I need to know the plot to follow this?
Me: Probably not.

Meanwhile Odysseus, who refuses to believe that the Doctor is a god but somehow accepts that he has a box that can travel through time and space, conscripts him into using his knowledge of the future to help the Greeks infiltrate and seize the city of Troy. Steven suggests the wooden horse, but the Doctor rejects it out of hand.

Me: I love the way the audience expects the Doctor to propose the wooden horse, but he immediately dismisses it as a non-starter and tries something else instead.
Hannah: Yes, because he realises that it probably never happened and it's a ridiculous idea, and he doesn't want to be the person who invented it.

Death of a Spy [Episode 3]

The high priestess Cassandra has foreseen the fall of Troy, but nobody seems to be giving her the benefit of the doubt. No wonder she's always so irritable.

Me: Do you know the story of Cassandra in Greek mythology?
Hannah: No?
Me: Apollo gave her the gift of prophecy, but also cursed her so that her accurate prophecies would never be believed.
Hannah: So even though she keeps predicting things and they actually happen, no one believes her?
Me: Correct.
Hannah: And her prophecies keep coming true, but people still don't believe her and nobody learns from their mistakes. Ever.
Me: That's godly curses for you; I don't remember you having any trouble accepting that the luck potion from Harry Potter magically supersedes other people's common sense and free will. Except here it's more along the lines of "don't bring this wooden horse into the city, it's full of people who are going to massacre everyone."

I've always found this story genuinely hilarious, but Hannah's not feeling it quite so much.

Hannah: This comedy is annoying.
Me: Why?
Hannah: I don't know. I just don't find it that funny.

Or so she keeps saying; it doesn't stop her laughing uproariously at a "parchment aeroplane" joke a few seconds later. In fact she's been chuckling pretty consistently throughout the story, although admittedly nowhere near as much as me.

She's surprised when the Doctor finally gives up and steals Homer's ridiculous Trojan Horse idea, but it raises some interesting questions.

Hannah: So if Homer just made it up and it never really happened in the first place, and it turns out that it was the Doctor who invented it because nobody else had done it, that means it's one of those bootstrap paradoxes. The Doctor took the idea from Homer, but it turns out Homer wrote it that way because the Doctor was there the whole time and ended up giving Homer the idea. So who actually invented that idea?
Me: I think it sort of works if you assume that it didn't actually happen in the first place, and the Doctor has taken the idea from a work of fiction and made it come true; it's only a bootstrap paradox if he imitates something that had actually happened, like if he went back in time and copied out War and Peace. I think. That's the implication of the story, anyway; we're supposed to believe the Trojan Horse wasn't part of history until the Doctor arrived and changed the course of events.
Hannah: I like these "fiddling with history" stories.
Me: This episode was originally going to be called "Is There a Doctor in the Horse?" but it got vetoed.
Hannah: Good!
Me: It's a fantastic title!
Hannah: But none of the other titles have been funny before.
Me: They're not all comedy stories like this one.

Admittedly it's hard to find anything to laugh about when the Cyclops is slaughtered by a Trojan guard ("Aww! They just straight-up killed him!"). Even when the wooden horse has finally been completed, Hannah still doesn't find the idea any more credible.

Hannah: They built that in less than a day. How the fuck?
Me: It's only wood.
Hannah: It's forty feet high!
Me: I would love to see how the production team pulled this off. Maybe one day the episodes will be discovered and we'll be able to see it.
Hannah: The world may seem a place of infinite possibilities, but I don't think it is.

Horse of Destruction [Episode 4]

We may not have gotten "Is There a Doctor in the Horse" but at least the series now has an episode called "Horse of Destruction", which is surely the next best thing. Beat that, Star Trek.

Hannah is still unconvinced by the eponymous gambit.

Hannah: I mean, who would think that it wouldn't be a trick? Why would anyone think the Greeks would leave them something?

After three episodes of jolly comedy antics, the story suddenly turns very dark and violent as the Greeks start slaughtering the Trojans.

Me: This change of mood must have been quite shocking at the time.
Hannah: Oh, Steven's been properly injured?
Me: Yep, they're not going to get out of this one unscathed.
Hannah: I hope he doesn't die. Not like that.

While Cassandra's handmaiden Katarina helps Steven back to the TARDIS, Vicki has a quiet word with the Doctor. Hannah can see where this is leading.

Hannah: Is Vicki leaving? As soon as somebody falls in love they decide to leave the TARDIS.
Me: Susan didn't exactly get a lot of choice.
Hannah: She kind of wanted to stay behind.

She wistfully watches the Doctor and Steven depart.

Hannah: That means Steven didn't get to say goodbye! I didn't think Vicki would leave so soon. It doesn't feel like she was there long enough.

Meanwhile, Vicki is reunited with Troilus.

Hannah: She's staying behind in a war zone?
Me: The war's over now.
Hannah: Yes, and they're on the losing side.

At this point, Hannah suddenly notices that Katarina is still on board the TARDIS.

Hannah: Oh, she snuck in did she? I didn't see that!

The story ends with Steven in desperate need of medical attention, so Hannah is understandably a little apprehensive about the title of the next episode.

Hannah: "The Nightmare Begins"? I think it's pretty much bad enough already.

The Score

Hannah: Well, a lot happened there. I like this story and I liked the humour, but then it got really dark at the end.
Me: You said you didn't like the humour.
Hannah: I don't particularly, but it makes it different and interesting. It's not my favourite style, but I understand why they do it and I like the fact that they're trying it. It makes the story more interesting and fun.

7/10

In case you're wondering, it's a solid 10 from me.

Hannah: I want to see where they go from here. I knew he got a companion from the past at some point, but I thought it was a Scottish person. Not someone from Troy.