Galaxy 4

Four Hundred Dawns [Episode 1]

Hannah is less than thrilled at the prospect of another reconstruction of a missing episode. Which is unfortunate, because we're about to embark on a long stretch of them; in fact it's going to be another twenty-five episodes before we next see two surviving episodes in a row.

Me: It could be worse. Until recently this entire story was missing, but episode 3 was discovered six years ago.
Hannah: (sarcastically) Yay.

It may not sound like much, but at least it breaks up what would otherwise have been ten missing episodes in a row. Frankly, I'll take whatever I can get over the next couple of seasons.

Me: The other good news is that there are six minutes of surviving footage in the middle of this first episode.
Hannah: Huh. Weird. Was it cut for an excerpt on Blue Peter or something? They're normally about 20 seconds.
Me: It was for a documentary in 1977 called Whose Doctor Who. Only 30 seconds were eventually used, but the discarded footage was kept by the president of the Doctor Who Appreciation Society.

Hannah takes an immediate shine to the little robots.

Hannah: It's a robot vacuum cleaner! It looks just like a giant Roomba.

And then...

Hannah: Oh, they named it a Chumbley? (sigh)
Me: What's wrong with that?
Hannah: I thought Vicki was using it as an adjective.
Me: She was, but it's also what she's decided to call them.

When we reach the six-minute oasis of moving footage and meet the Drahvins, a bunch of gun-toting Dusty Springfield lookalikes with dots instead of eyebrows, Hannah suspects the plot twist pretty much straight away (not that it's fooling anybody); the Drahvins are the antagonists and the ugly monsters (the Rills) are the good guys. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, she turns her attention to more interesting things. Like merchandising opportunities.

Hannah: "More Chumblies!" I want that on a t-shirt.
Me: You like the Chumblies, don't you?
Hannah: They're quite cute. And they have cute noises, like little farts.

She certainly likes them enough to be upset when the Drahvins open fire on one of them.

Hannah: Awww! Like a cooked snail in a shell.

The episode ends as the Doctor calculates that there are only two dawns remaining until the planet's destruction.

Hannah: But there are three suns.
Me: Yes, I'm not entirely sure how dawns work here. The days must all be different lengths.
Hannah: What's this story called, by the way?
Me: Galaxy 4. Or possibly Galaxy Four.

Trap of Steel [Episode 2]

For some reason, the Doctor has decided to tell the Drahvins that the planet will explode in fourteen dawns' time.

Hannah: Why has he lied to them?
Me: I have absolutely no idea. It's completely pointless.
Hannah: They're shit soldiers. Apart from the leader they're all a bit stupid, they've got no imagination or initiative. They're almost like children.

The quality of the soundtrack seems to be getting worse as we go along.

Hannah: It's really difficult to know what's going on when you can't hear it properly.
Me: I don't think we're missing much.
Hannah: I know. But with other reconstructions I could at least hear what was happening.

At this point we come across a line of dialogue that's completely unintelligible, even by the standards of this reconstruction.

Hannah: Nope, not a clue.
Me: I wouldn't worry, it's not very plot-heavy at the moment.

A quick Google search pulls up a handy transcript so that we can decipher it.

Hannah: Oh. It was boring.

Time to meet the Rills; the Doctor and Vicki arrive in what the script describes as the Rill centre ("It sounds like a Welsh community centre"), but it's not as futuristic as Hannah had been hoping.

Hannah: Ooh, nice little habitats. And by that I mean crap. It's like a big polytunnel or greenhouse.

By the end of the episode, Hannah is thoroughly disheartened.

Hannah: This is awful! Really awful.
Me: You mean the quality of the audio?
Hannah: Yes! And probably the story, but I can't tell because I don't know what's going on. I can't hear it, I can't see anything except the still images, and they appear to have spent an entire episode doing practically nothing; they've gone walking outside for a bit, had some conversations and then found an alien that looks like a rolling sphincter.

At least she's in a much better position to appreciate that recovered episode now...

Air Lock [Episode 3]

As the Doctor and Vicki finally encounter the Rills, Hannah and I have an encounter of our own with... moving Chumblies!

Hannah: Shiny. I like how the top bit wobbles.
Me: I can't tell whether or not that's intentional.
Hannah: Why have they got decking and a garden table in the middle of a spaceship?
Me: There's never anything wrong with a bit of decking.

It's not long before her attention turns once again to the merchandising potential.

Hannah: Were there Chumbley action figures?
Me: I don't think so. Do you want one?
Hannah: Maybe. Especially if they pop open.

Hannah has been fairly vocal in the past about the abundance of English-speaking aliens across the universe. (The "TARDIS translation circuit" explanation won't cut any ice with her until it gets explicitly stated within the series.) I'm hoping the next point of interest will stir up a little engagement with an otherwise fairly dull story.

Me: I just want to point out that this is the first time in the series that any kind of translation device appears, or is even mentioned. So we've got aliens here who demonstrably don't speak English.
Hannah: Good! Finally! It's not even the most commonly spoken language on our own planet, never mind other planets across the universe. At least the populations in Firefly also speak Chinese.

Hannah always makes a solid effort to engage with every episode, even the weaker ones, but after spending two episodes straining to hear what's going on she's not finding a whole lot to engage with in this story. (This probably also explains why she's so amused by the name "Pepi Poupee" in the credits.)

The Exploding Planet [Episode 4]

Hannah couldn't help noticing (in the absence of much else to notice) that Steven had a lot of hair in the previous episode, and it's now conspicuous by its absence.

Hannah: He's definitely had a haircut.
Me: Maybe they should do it between stories. Not that anyone would remember from one week to the next.

After a brief respite we're back to the reconstructions, and the audio quality is worse than ever.

Me: We do have a copy of the narrated soundtrack on CD, which would be a lot clearer. But the episode length is extended to fit the narration, so if we listen to the CD whilst watching the reconstruction they won't match up.
Hannah: So we're watching the worst possible thing?
Me: Not quite, we've got the pictures at least. But we can put the CD on if you like.
Hannah: No, we're almost finished.

The explosion is now an hour and a half away.

Hannah: Weird how they can pinpoint it that precisely. An entire planetary extinction event thing.

When our heroes are given permission to see the Rill in person, Hannah noticeably perks up at the prospect of seeing one in the flesh.

Hannah: They're finally going in to see them?
Me: Yes, it's the only episode where you get to see the Rills. But there are no stills of them.
Hannah: Really? Even though it would be the one thing that they would probably put in the annual? It's exactly the kind of thing that someone would put in a compendium of all the aliens, or they'd have them featuring on Blue Peter or whatever. You'd expect there would be something where they've shown a costume or a still image.

Never mind the entire planet going up in smoke; for Hannah, the real tragedy is when the Chumbley de-activates itself.

Hannah: Aw. I suppose it is a robot, though.
Me: You'd get upset if R2-D2 died.
Hannah: He's got an AI, so yes. I don't think Chumblies do. And I notice they call themselves Chumblies now.
Me: Yeah, you'd think the Rills would have their own names for them.

She's certainly more concerned about their fate than that of the Drahvins, but she spares some thought for the ethics of the situation.

Hannah: So he knows that the Drahvins are going to die, but he's leaving them there anyway because they've been completely uncooperative.
Me: He's offered them help, they didn't want it. What else can he do?
Hannah: I want to know why the planet explodes like that. It's just silly.

The Score

Hannah: I like the fact that it's got an alien race that doesn't look human and needs a translation device, and it's got the cute little Chumblies. And some things were genuinely scary, like Steven almost suffocating and dying. But some of the danger was badly choreographed, and a lot of other things weren't really scary.

6/10