The Space Museum

The Space Museum [Episode 1]

Hannah: Oooh. It's like a spaceship graveyard.

We pick up directly from the end of the previous episode, giving Hannah reason to believe she's spotted a continuity error.

Hannah: They've changed clothes! They've all changed clothes! Oh, they've noticed.

Yes, it's another episode with a string of inexplicable events, but the Doctor is taking it very calmly.

Hannah: How weirdly mundane.

Hannah is thrilled to finally see a story where the Doctor suggests that they all stick together rather than splitting up, and as the mystery unfolds she's constantly trying to work out what's going on. She finds it even more engaging when she realises nobody in the museum can see our heroes, although she's not sure why they were trying to hide at all ("Why didn't they just ask if they can come into the museum?"). She also gets a bit of a shock when they come to a museum exhibit of a Dalek.

Hannah: Well. Shit.

She's momentarily distracted by the idea that the people of Vicki's time apparently don't have pictures in their history books, but when she realises the travellers can't hear anything that's going on in the museum she's completely mystified.

Hannah: That's really strange. I haven't worked it out yet. I pride myself on being able to work out things.
Me: I wouldn't worry too much on this one.
Hannah: I think they're out of sync. And they're not quite in that universe.

When they discover they can't touch any of the items on display, it confirms her suspicions.

Hannah: There we go. They're out of phase. That's why they're not leaving footprints. Or the whole thing's a hologram. Oh look, they bumped into a mannequin that they can't touch.

Of course, that doesn't explain why the four of them subsequently discover their own mummified bodies in display cases.

Hannah: That's not nice.

The Doctor surmises that the TARDIS has "jumped a time track" and given them fourth dimensional difficulties.

Hannah: Is this story called "The Fourth Dimension"?
Me: No.
Hannah: Oh.

The display cases are only a potential future, and our heroes need to change their future once the realities have merged.

Hannah: Yeah, but they still haven't explained how those clothes got put on them in the first place.

Finally, time corrects itself; the bodies disappear and the Doctor's party finally arrives.

Hannah: That doesn't make any sense! Why aren't they in the TARDIS? Why didn't they arrive in the TARDIS?
Me: They did, that's why the footprints have only just appeared. Time has only just caught up with their actions.

There's a general fan consensus on this story which says that the first episode is great but that the premise is wasted by the three tedious ones that follow, so I'm interested to see what Hannah makes of this one so far.

Hannah: Very odd. Not bad, but odd. Is the next one... better?

The Dimensions of Time [Episode 2]

Hannah: Barbara looks like she's going to be sick.
Me: It's probably not a pleasant feeling when you're suddenly confronted with your own mummified body.

Cue the Xerons.

Hannah: Why have they all got their eyebrows drawn on?
Me: They've got two sets of eyebrows, which is lucky because I know how much you dislike aliens that look too humanoid.
Hannah: Ha. They're very strange but they've definitely gone back to using bipedal humanoids, just with weird hair and weird eyebrows.
Me: One of them is a young Jeremy Bulloch, who played Boba Fett in the Star Wars films. Although I've never understood why he's such a popular character, he hardly does anything in the original trilogy. It's barely even a speaking part.
Hannah: It's a really boring small pointless part, it's just that people were so interested in him that he got a cult following and was written into the prequels.

She's not impressed with the security in the museum; not only does Ian help himself to one of the guns on display, but the Doctor manages to get away with hiding inside the Dalek exhibit. His Dalek impression gives her a good laugh, until...

Hannah: What did he say? "I am the master"?! He can't say that.
Me: Why?
Hannah: The Master's a different character.
Me: Not yet.

A thought occurs when Ian uses the wool from Barbara's cardigan to trace their steps.

Hannah: They're wearing the same clothes that we saw in the cases. If she cuts the cardigan up, she can't be wearing it when they're in the cases.
Me: Good point.
Hannah: If they just take all their clothes off they can never be in the cases. Or does that just slightly change the future? Do they just see a different future where they're still in the cases, just naked?
Me: Will you not keep putting this image in my head please?
Hannah: Hang on, he unravelled a whole cardigan?!

Remarkably, the story still seems to be holding her interest after the promise of episode one.

Hannah: Interesting. Really interesting story, makes me think a lot.
Me: And the execution?
Hannah: Mostly well done. Still don't know how they changed their clothes at the beginning.

The Search [Episode 3]

Hannah: The weird time travel bit is completely irrelevant to the whole story; they could just have turned up, discovered that all intruders get put in boxes and tried not to get caught. But I like that they made it a time problem where they've seen the future and need to make sure that it doesn't happen. I like it when films and things do that, where there's a constant threat of something that might or might not happen.

Hannah, usually so quick to criticise the fight scenes in this programme, is pleasantly surprised when Ian takes on two Morok guards.

Hannah: Wow, there's some decent hand-to-hand combat.
Me: Some good knee-to-groin combat as well.
Hannah: The fight scenes are really good. Exceptionally good compared to most of the other stories.

If only the Moroks themselves were as good.

Hannah: Have you ever watched Babylon 5? There's a character that looks very much like the Moroks.
Me: What, all of them?
Hannah: That kind of hairstyle.

In fact, the Moroks in general aren't impressing her a great deal. Not that I blame her.

Hannah: They're rubbish soldiers.
Me: That's probably what happens when you're moonlighting as a militant museum curator.
Hannah: Why is everyone so stupid? How do they find their own arses?

The Final Phase [Episode 4]

Hannah: Was the Doctor on holibobs last time? Or did it just suit the story that he got captured?
Me: Both.

When the Doctor is defrosted like a leg of pork, Hannah is understandably critical of the science.

Hannah: So they've deep-frozen him but they were able to warm him up again? That was phase two? What was phase one, give him a little bit of a wipe down? It's supposed to be an embalming. Preparing actual embalmed bodies is intricate. All they did was warm him up again and somehow it undid both phases.

Then, when the Doctor calls out to Ian, we get one of those bizarre interludes that needs to be recorded for posterity. If only to prove to myself that it actually happened.

Hannah: Did he call him Breville?
Me: What?
Hannah: I know that's not what he said, but I didn't hear what it actually was.
Me: Who's Breville?
Hannah: A brand of toaster. (after some thought) It might have been "dear boy."
Me: "Breville." Good grief.

She's particularly enjoying the Doctor in this one. She's been finding him witty and fun throughout, admiring his mental control under interrogation a couple of episodes ago and even showing amusement at the sight of William Hartnell in a bathing suit. Here, it's his peculiar delivery of the line "it's a pity" that tickles her.

Hannah: (laughing) He's so weird.

Yet again our heroes are questioning whether their actions are successfully avoiding their destiny, or just bringing them closer to it. After three episodes it's impossible to overstate how repetitive this feels.

Hannah: There's a lot of time being filled with random talking.
Me: It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't just the same argument over and over again.

After all the "excitement" is over, the Doctor helps himself to a souvenir from the museum and explains the TARDIS fault to Ian and Barbara.

Me: Happy with that explanation?
Hannah: Yeah. It's alright. Except they never got changed.

The cliffhanger for the next story gets a mixed reaction.

Hannah: Well. That's a proper cliffhanger, isn't it? But Daleks again! I'm sick of them!
Me: We're watching all these stories very close together, though. This is only the third time in two years.
Hannah: We've already seen one in this story!
Me: That doesn't count.
Hannah: Did they put that in to remind people?
Me: The Daleks turn up about as often as this in the new series as well. In fact they're used a lot more sparingly in the old series after the first few years.
Hannah: Fine. Fair enough. So it introduces the fact that the Daleks now have the ability to time travel. And now they can track the TARDIS? The Doctor's obviously not putting the cloak on.
Me: The cloak?
Hannah: Cloaking devices, for ships.
Me: Oh. Not his actual cloak, then? The black one?
Hannah: No.

But never mind the Daleks, the real cliffhanger is the Time-Space Visualiser. We won't see the Doctor's new toy in action until next time, but that doesn't stop Hannah second-guessing what it does.

Hannah: Does it give us the intro where the TARDIS flies through a wormhole?
Me: No...
Hannah: It visualises time and space, so it goes through the vortex. It makes pretty colours.
Me: You mean the intro from 2005?
Hannah: Yes. Are you telling me they don't have anything interesting like that until the modern series?

The Score

Hannah: Well, it was a completely different style, and I liked it. It's quite fun and I like the Doctor in this one. Interesting story and good fight scenes, well-choreographed, but there was a lot of rambling in that last one as if they were trying to fill time. It feels like the writer got bored and didn't really know what to do, so he just had them say the same things over and over again.
Me: Only that last one?
Hannah: Some of the rest was a bit like that, but specifically the last one. I like the idea of a museum in space and it would have been nice to actually see more exhibits, but obviously you'd have to make all those exhibits and pay for them so I can see why they didn't do it. I think it was a fun story...
Me: Do you?
Hannah: Yeah. I don't think it rates particularly highly because it's got a lot holding it back, but it was an interesting concept to do some weird timey stuff. But it could have been a lot better.

5/10